The Kremlin

Night 1 & Day 2

About ten minutes after I first penned my previous entry, I was practically unconscious, so deep was my rest. The sweet lullaby of the clacking tracks and the gentle sway of the train engine had rocked me to sleep. When I awoke a couple hours later, the air was rife with excitement. Carly was dutifully studying the itinerary and Hannah was pouring over the Russian alphabet. Soon after, the Latvian and later Russian border police poured onto the train, sifted through luggage, checked passports, and communicated via grunt. Honestly, I was a little disappointed that they weren't scarier. Oh, and every now and then someone would randomly break into song (and sometimes dance) from the animated movie Anastasia.

Fast forward to about noon the next day. We had already checked into Godzilla, our predictably green painted hostel, and were now going to the Red Square. St. Basils, aka the Candy Land palace, was so whimsical, colorful, and bulbous that it made me think the architect had had a lot of fun. Although if I remember correctly, he was the Italian who had his eyes put out so that he could never make anything as magnificent again.

Next we went on a tour of the Kremlin and the Armory within it. The Armory is basically Russia's treasure house. Diamond encrusted prayer books as big as pillows, ornate carriages with wheels twice my height, and serving dishes big enough to bathe in made quite the impression. Even the guns, swords, and shields were inlaid with tortoise shell and spangled with precious stones.

The tour paused at the coronation dress of Catherine the Great with its silvery luster, delicate details, and Disney princess proportioned waist. Next to that gown was a dress that had belonged to a significantly portlier woman. Ana Something-Something was one of the fattest, ugliest, and most reviled rulers in Russian history. From what I could gather of the tour guide's version of English the story goes something like this...Ana was a princess residing in the Baltic region when her relatives invited her to come and marry into the Russian dynasty. Once she arrived, she shredded the contract and declared herself Empress of Imperial Russia. For ten years she let her German boyfriend rule as she was far too busy with her favorite sport: hunting. Eventually she becomes so incapacitated (whether from obesity or disease I'm not sure) that she actually has servants lead game outside her window so she can shoot them without moving. She also decided to make a palace entirely of ice, inside and outside. To complete her nifty little project, she poured water on some of her handmaidens and let them freeze overnight.

After that we visited the gilded chapel where many czars had been crowned. By the time we were done with our three hour tour (and yes, that reference was made a couple dozen times), we were footsore and freezing. Luckily it was time for the circus! Nothing like cotton candy and contortionists after a long day of looking at beautiful things. My favorite acts were the acrobats. One act had them floating through planets and stars, glowing neon under a black light, another act was a Latvian couple who were able to fly through the air together in perfect synchronization, and there was also a young girl who sprinted across the spray of a shooting fountain and then shot into the atmosphere. Meanwhile, Hannah alternated clutching my armor in terror and maliciously biting off gummy bear heads. Again.